am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
