I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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