I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
one might say we're banned from that church
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Enjoy the penises
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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