It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He better not be in your backpack
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
