the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
