I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
