Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
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She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
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Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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