is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
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He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
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Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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