And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Yo dont text me then not text me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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