there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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