every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
