So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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