Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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