If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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