Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize