They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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