I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
