So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
