Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
