I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
