I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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