I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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