i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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