I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
