so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
