wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
