My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
