Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize