The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
