i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You are a genius and a whore.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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