She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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