The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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