She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
