ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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