I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize