Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
