it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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