I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
