Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
