How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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