when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
