I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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