im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
