the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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