I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Im just a social blackout drinker.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
