So drunk, too bad you don't want this
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
