My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
