Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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