i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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