Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
