College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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