Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
This can only be settled by a dance off.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
