gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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