Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
