He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
