Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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