Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
