if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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