I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize