Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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