nut hugger
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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