it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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