I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
