And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
