Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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